How To Stay Friends With a Lady And Avoid Falling In Love With Her

This site contains affiliate links, view the disclaimer for more information.

There are a lot of reasons to just want to stay friends with a lady without falling in love with her.

For example, you might be going through a really tough break up and you aren’t just ready for another relationship, or you’re not just looking to be in a relationship at the moment, or even worse, you have a very weak heart that you always find yourself falling for ladies who shows even the slightest of affection towards you when they’re just trying to be nice.

It can be very heartbreaking when you tell a lady you’re in love with her and she says she only just sees you as a friend.

If the latter is your situation and you don’t want to ever get heartbroken again, then this right here is most especially for you you.

I can’t count how many times I fell prey to this kind of situation and every time it happens, I got my heart shattered into pieces.

It’s a very nasty place to be in and the truth is that most people (just like i was back then) don’t have the ability to control the pain that comes with heartbreak that they end up going into depression.

[Read – The Ultimate Guide on Getting Any Lady to be Your Girlfriend]

You see, friendship is a special relationship shared with someone. And when you’re friends with someone, there’s this unification between you two that you wont even have with someone you’re in a relationship with.

You would tell your friends secrets you wont even dare tell your partner and you would do things you wouldn’t do together if you were in a relationship.

But eventually, some people end up developing romantic feelings for their friends and confessing your feelings ‘COULD’ eventually lead to a relationship.

If she fancies you, something ‘COULD’ happen. But if she doesn’t sees you that way, confessing your feelings to her could make her start keeping her distance, and that would eventually ruin your friendship and that’s not a risk worth taking (I know this because it has happened to me).

To avoid this kind of situation, you’ll need to tread carefully to avoid falling for a friend in the first place.

It true that sometimes you can’t help who you can’t help who you fall in love with, but you can most certainly control how frequently you fall in love.

So to help you control (should I say……) how frequently you fall in love, I’m going to share with you the 12 tips I’ve used all this while to keep all my female friends as they are meant to be, FREINDS.

And as a bonus, I’m also going to be sharing with you how to overcome those feelings if you’ve already developed feelings for her so you don’t end up destroying your existing relationship (i.e if you really value your friendship and you don’t want to lose her).

I’ll be dividing this article into two sections;

Section 1 – How to prevent yourself from falling in love with a friend and,

Section 2 – How to overcome your feelings for a friend so you won’t destroy your friendship.

[Read – 13 No Bullsh*t Ways To Stop Being Shy Around Your Crush And Finally Ask Her Out]

Section 1 – How to prevent yourself from falling in love with a friend

1. Define your friendship

It’s important for you to have a clear meaning of the friendship you two share. And anytime you have this impulse to feel anything other than the love you have for her as a friend, you should remember all the good memories you guys experienced together and how you’d ruin your everything if anything like that where to happen.

2. Set boundaries

It’s very very important to set boundaries between you two. When you set boundaries (like what you both can do to each other and cannot do), it creates this bridge between you two that both of you can’t cross.

For example, restrain yourself from being her pretend boyfriend by avoiding doing things like holding her hands or waist when walking, avoid snuggling, avoid touching her hair, and never kiss her.

A lady can be comfortable with you doing all these things to her without being her boyfriend, but to avoid any unforeseen circumstances, DON’T DO IT!

Also, you should never allow her or ask her to be your pretend girlfriend, because trust me. it’s just not going to end well.

3. Don’t always be at her beck and call

You shouldn’t always be available when she needs you, this is the same as playing her pretend boyfriend. You should be there for her as a friend, yes, but being there for her all the time is the job of a boyfriend, not a friend.

A lot of guys do this and they end up heartbroken because, when you’re not her boyfriend and you’re always there for her 24/7, the odds of something happening and you developing feelings for her is risen by you always being by her side all the time and, she might even end up taking advantage of you.

[Read – 11 Psychological Tricks To Get Any Lady To Fall In Love With You]

4. Remind yourself you don’t need to be in a relationship to feel complete

It’s so sad that nowadays, people feel they need to be in a relationship to feel complete, particularly we the guys. And that’s totally a misconception that leads us to get our heart broken all the time

You don’t need to be in a relationship to feel complete, to be happy! Shift that thoughts towards the spine of your existence, your family. Remind yourself how lucky you are to have people who stood by you and who will always stand by you during tough times

5. Don’t always be friendly

You shouldn’t always be all laughy and jokey when you’re around her, you should occasionally get angry at her when she does something that annoys you. Avoid all those late night calls or text, and also avoid sending her funny or love memes, because hey! You aren’t her boyfriend.

If you’re in college or at work, limit your interactions between her to when you meet physically. You should only communicate with her when there’s an emergency or you want to share vital information with each other.

6. Stop listening to funky love songs

You might find this funny, but one of the reasons you fall in love so easily is because you always listen to love songs (If that’s not the case for you, skip this part).

What listening to love songs does is that it mounts this craving of finding romance in your heart that anytime there’s even the slightest opportunity that it might happen, you don’t think twice before taking it, which would then eventually lead to the obvious, heart break.

7. Don’t tell her everything that happens or happened in your life

Whenever you tell some of your deepest memories to someone, you unconsciously tie this invisible knot that somehow binds you two together. When you do this, two occurrence are possible;

i. It’s either your friendship grows more deeper OR

ii. You bond grows more stronger to the extent that you start developing feelings for her, because of the new connection built between you two

To prevent this, I’d advice to keep most of your deepest memories to yourself so you won’t be vulnerable to fall pray to this kind of situation.

I know some of these might sound kinda harsh, but It’s your heart we’re talking about here. No one has the right to turn your heart to MUSH, they only see the opportunity to do so because you gave them the avenue by making yourself vulnerable.

[Read Also – 10 Tricks To Avoid Getting Friend Zoned By Your Crush]

Section 2 – How to overcome your feelings for a friend so you don’t destroy your relationship

Now, If you’re unlucky and you’ve already in love with a lady that’s your friend, and you’re afraid your feelings for her would just grow that you’ll end up telling her, I’m going to share with you how you can get rid of those feelings entirely so you don’t end up loosing her as a friend.

1. Understand what your feelings are

If you find yourself falling for a friend and you’re afraid of loosing her if you let your feelings known, don’t fret, keep in mind that it might even be love you’re feeling.

She might happen to be so nice to you that you misread your feeling of gratitude as love, it happens all the time. You just need to take your time and evaluate what those feelings are.

Love doesn’t just happen all of a sudden, it takes time to build up and to be identified.

2. Focus on (and love) yourself

It’s surprising how people tend to totally neglect themselves. You need to focus on building your life and getting to bring out the best version of you. Believe me, you’re capable of extra-ordinary things.

Talk about me for example, I started this blog because i was going through a difficult phase of my life, i was depressed and frustrated. And to get over my depression, i started writing. It was then i figured out i was good at writing and it’s as a result of that you’re reading a piece of my content today.

You don’t need to start a blog and start writing like i did, find out what you’re good at and just work really hard to improve yourself, and if by chance you’re not good at anything, you can always learn a skill and be perfect in it.

You should focus on yourself and bring out your true potential, i believe there’s no greater love than the one you have for yourself, and of course your MAMA :’)

3. Remember what heartbreak feels like

If you find yourself developing feelings for a friend, you should constantly be reminding yourself of the pain that comes with heartbreak.

Only a handful of guys out there can brag that they haven’t been rejected before, but I’m sure if you’ve reached this stage of this article, you’re one of us that have gotten their heart shattered if not once but many many times.

I always say “You’re not fully matured to be a man if you’ve not gotten your heart shattered multiple times before”. I don’t know if I’m saying this just to make myself feel better, but take it from me, It’s the truth! Lol!

So anytime you’re having that feeling for someone and you’re sure that that feeling is one sided, remember how that sorrow, anger, and anxiety weighed you down to your lowest the last time you were heartbroken.

4. Remember It’s not your fault

You should always put in mind that developing romantic feelings for someone is never one’s fault. And most importantly, you should never blame yourself for it. It’s just that sometimes you just can’t control who you fall in love with.

“The heart wants what it wants” says the undisputed Queen of Pop ‘SELENA GOMEZ’, God I love her!

[Read – 29 Sure Signs She Has a Crush On You And Is Dying To Be With You]

5. Take your time off your friendship

For you to get over your feelings, you’re going to need to take some time off each other to try figuring out what does feelings really mean.

Try analyzing them, what do they really mean. Are you just feeling lonely that you’re misinterpreting the caring relationship you guys share for Romance or, you’re just trying to patronize yourself for maybe the recent heartbreak you’ve experienced from your girlfriend or your crush?

6. Return to your friendship

When i say take time off your friendship, I mean ‘Take some time off your friendship’.

You shouldn’t just abandon her or push her away completely, just take the time you need to completely heal (understanding what those feelings are and realizing It’s not love) and come back as a new person.

But you should tread carefully because this can go sideways fast. And for you to make sure those feelings you’ve tucked away doesn’t slowly creep out, make sure to go back to ‘Section 1’ and follow those steps when you’re back together with her as friends so you won’t find yourself falling for her again.

7. Meet new people

You know, she’s not the only person you can be friends with. You’ll need to distract yourself and one of the best way i know how is by meeting people and making new friends.

You could even approach a lady and go out on a date with her. But let me make one thing clear, never have the intention of making her jealous by showing off your new date (you know what i mean). Because this would only make matters worse for you when you’re trying to remove that feeling.

[Read – 9 Ways To Make Her Madly Jealous And Want You Like Crazy]

8. Talk to her about your feelings

Talking to your friend about your feelings might be helpful in getting that load outta your chest, but you should know that this is a gamble, because you friendship might be at risk if you take this approach.

You need to build your confidence in order to effectively explain how you feel, and also make sure to fully prepare beforehand what you’d say so you won’t be lost of words when she’s right in front of you.

(Note – This should be done when you’ve tried all the necessary means of making those feelings go away but haven’t gotten any luck doing that)

9. Respect her decision

If you’ve chosen to talk to your friend, you must be fully prepared of what would come next whatever the outcome.

She might be taken out of her seat, surprised, and she’d tell you she wasn’t expecting this at all. But before she makes any decision, make sure to explain to her that despite your feelings, you’d like to remain friends with her.

Tell her how you value all the time you’ve spent together and you wouldn’t want your feelings to be what hinders you two from making more memories together.

After fessing your feelings to her, you might need to give her space to reduce that lingering tension that was created (i.e if she’s the shy type), but make sure to put in effort so that everything goes back to normal.

Conclusion

I promise you, If you play all this right, there’s no way you’d lose her as a friend (If that’s what you really want to be be to her, just friends).

I know falling for a friend is something most people want to avoid. but it does happen. And when love happens, It doesn’t care if she’s your best friend or the Devil, The heart would always want what it wants.